Yesterdays post in english

Evil plan 18

Step 1: create a situation such as which that a super hero such as Batman is required

Step 2: using one of my many spies convince Furry that he should be this hero

Step 3: become the Joker figure in this situation and beat his sidekick to death with a baseball bat and shoot the other thereby paralysing her (Both Batman canon)

Step 4: when he is broken mentally get a chemically enhanced villain to break his spine (again Batman canon)

Step 5: finally when it looks like he is on the verge of recovery beat him to death with a lamp

In soviet Russia Lamp beats you

Зло план 18
Шаг 1: создать ситуацию, например, какие, что супер герой, таких как Бэтмен требуется
Шаг 2: с помощью одного из моих многочисленных шпионов убедить Furry что он должен быть этот герой
Шаг 3: стать фигурой Джокера в этой ситуации и избили его закадычного друга до смерти бейсбольной битой и стрелять другие что парализует ее (как Бэтмен канон)
Шаг 4: когда он сломан психически получить химически расширенной злодея, чтобы сломать ему позвоночник (снова Бэтмен канон)
Шаг 5: в конце концов, когда он похож, что он стоит на пороге восстановления избили его до смерти лампы

Just a little somthing for my Russian fanbase

video update

I'm not really sorry because I'm evil

sorry no blog post today I'm planning something big for tomorrow keep voting in yesterdays poll though

Evil is a man's best friend

vote time

which of these is more evil
1. punching a puppy in the face
2. punching a puppy in the face while dressed as a ninja
3. taking over the world with a lamp

your info required

You just crossed the line

Jake here it is your comments have made me angry and now a evil plan all of your own

Jake evil plan 1 (oh yes there are more to come)
step 1: reveal that Jake has completed none of his business work
step 2: wait for Jake to be called in by Ashcroft
step 3: when he is told to cut the bullshit enter the room via the window dressed as a lamp wielding ninja
step 4: Kill them both with my expert lamp handling skills
step 5: leave... like a boss

world domination plan 3
step 1: Build a device with which i can spend endless amounts of time doing what i like with no real time passing also I don't age
step 2: train in the Andes mountains until my lamp skills surpass all conceivable levels
step 3:  develop the ultimate lamp weapon
step 4: using my new found ablity single handedly defeat the armies of the world and take over

List
All Clowns
Whore
Printer
Furry
Onions
Disney Channel
The church of Scientology
people under the age of sixteen and over the age of five
realsmartcloud
metamorphic rocks
most moose
some butterflies
Mitt Romney
all of Luxembourg
Apple macs
all people called frederic except frederic francois chopin
the game crash of the titians
Gnasty Gnorc
Mirror force

And now the continuation

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That was my evil laugh

And now for something completely different evil

today just an evil laugh

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This post is evil

Evil plan 17
step 1: Make Furry and Whore into robots
step 2: deafeat them with a parodox (this statement is false and such like)
step 3: Beat them to death with a lamp

Evil plan 18
step 1: take control of Whore and Furry's blog
step 2: change the password
step 3: post things that make them seem good
step 4: keep this up until they get so mad they confront me
step 5: beat them to death with lamps

Lifes a bitch so if its easy your doing it wrong (uverworld)

Evil plan 16
step 1: take over the world (see world domination plans)
step 2: outlaw moderate evil therefore stopping Whore and Furry from operating
step 3: watch as they grow very bored
step 4 beat them to death with lamps

this plan is more an insult because i call them moderate evil

We now return to your regularly scheduled evil

I still have the bear but today I thought I'd treat you to some evil plans

evil plan 14
step 1: hire a juggler who specialises in juggling lamps
step 2 stage an elaborate carnival in which Whore and Furry must battle each of the performers each with a dangerous skill to escape
step 3: the final stage will be this juggler who will have mad lamp skills
step 4: while Whore and Furry are distracted by the juggler sneak up behind them and beat them to death with lamps

evil plan 15
step 1: develop the ability to fly
step 2: use the cloning machine Whore and Furry gave me the idea for to make 49582 clones of myself
step 3: worry Whore and Furry with how exact the number is
step 4: fly around for a bit (because come on i can fly god damn it)
step 5: beat Whore and Furry to death with lamps while flying

The interrogation process

The bear that I have kidnapped may hold vital information about Whore and Furry's plans so i have begun the interrogation process

Super mega evil update

This is an update concerning one evil thing I did whore has a keyring with a bear on it i have kidnapped that bear why you ask because I'm evil I have provided photos below

Look at the terror in his eyes

Bound and gagged

Until a formal acknowledgement of defeat from Whore and Furry I will be removing limbs or generally torturing this bear as a way to show you the error of their ways

Printer you just made my list

At the moment all of my hate and therefore my evil is directed at my printer so today's evil plans will concern it so your off the hook Furry (connor) and Whore (Liz) (this is how they will be referred to from now on)

Printer evil plan 1
step 1: take the printer to an old persons house with no computer
step 2: wait for the printer to become disused
step 3: watch the printer kill itself out of shear boredom

printer evil plan 2
step 1: print loads of pictures until my printer complains it is low on ink
step 2: fill the printer (which thinks its getting ink) with high explosives
step 3: destroy the printer with a lamp

again sorry about only printer based evil but its now third on my list which i will provide you with a copy of as compensation

List
All Clowns
Whore
Printer
Furry
Onions
Disney Channel
The church of Scientology
metamorphic rocks
most moose
some butterflies
Mitt Romney
all of Luxembourg
Apple macs
all people called frederic except frederic francois chopin
the game crash of the titians
Gnasty Gnorc
Mirror force

that is all for now

Say hello to my lampy friend

Evil Plans

World Domination plan 2
step 1: Befriend the Russians
step 2: Raise a loyal army of lamp wielding ninjas
step 3: Betray the Russians
step 4: Take control of the western world
step 5: Re-befriend the Russians
step 6: Rename all counties SMUDGEopolis
step 7: Re-Betray the Russians
step 8: Rule with an iron fist clutching a lamp

Evil plan 13
step 1: Beat Liz to death with a lamp (shes the only real threat)
step 2: Brainwash Conner into thinking he can go on a quest to save Liz
step 3: Reanimate Liz as my loyal servant (as much as i hate her as an ally she would be useful)
step 4: When Conner retuns from his quest beat him to death with a lamp

A lamp a lamp my kingdom for a lamp

Evil plans

plan 12
step 1: Take control of a small island
step 2: Send Conner and Liz free holiday vouchers to this island
step 3: When they arrive immediately cut off all ways off the island
step 4: Release a bunch of teenagers all told that the only way to escape the island is to be the last left alive
step 5: leave lamps at strategic intervals around the island
step 6: watch the resulting carnage from inside my blimp circling the island

World domination plan 1
Step 1: Construct a giant lamp
Step 2: Threaten any country that does not agree to my terms will have the entire country beaten to death with a lamp
Step 3: Quell the uprising, that Conner and Liz are bound to organise, with lamps
Step 4: make the trains run on time
Step 5: Rule you with a iron fist

reply to http://lizncon.blogspot.com/

First things first i do not have a cloning machine so that step is out
I have several underground warehouses supplying me with a constant supply of lamps so not gonna work
another me would just double the evil of SMUDGE i signed a contact which included a clone clause which read as follows Jack Porter hereby to be referred to as party A and any subsequent clones of Party A  hereby know as party B are under the jurisdiction of The Super Mega Ultra Evil Group of  Doom until such time as Party A sees fit so suck it I will take control will have twice as much lamp killing power and use it to take over the world
also one of my plans just involves spelling your name wrong Coner so there

If you got a problem yo ill solve it take out my lamp so the evil resolves it

Evil things I did today

made a people trap out of a chair part cookies/haribo and chess pieces
stole said haribo from Liz (suck it Liz)
Kidnapped a bear and help him hostage for a while

Evil plan 11
Step 1: gather a league of sharp evil minds to genetically engineer pokemon
Step 2: release the pokemon into the wild
Step 3: become the champion of the pokemon league
Step 4: wait for Connor/Liz to challenge me (No one can resist the call of being a pokemon trainer)
Step 5: Crush them
Step 6: get my pokemon to beat their pokemon to death with lamps
step 7: Beat them to death with a lamp 

Evil and some pride

First things first 100 page views woo its not even been a week yet.

And now evil

Plan 9: step 1: Kidnap Kazuki Takahashi (the creator of yu gi oh)
            step 2: Force him to write out a scenario involving me and Connor
            step 3: Kidnap Lizzie as the spark to force Connor into my card game based evil world
            step 4: Connor will be forced to duel a series of challenges with the help of some friends
            step 5: Connor will reach my evil castle and be forced to duel me
            step 6: Connor will lose
            step 7: I will claim it was a shadow game and beat Connor to death with a lamp
notes: the reason I need Kazuki Takahashi is because I only have the beginning and end of the scenario he will work out the middle like who Connor fights along the way and what cards they have also force may not be necessary Kazuki Takahashi will do anything for money the damn sell out

Plan 10: step 1: Use Lizzie who has now joined SMUDGE (UK) to lure Liz into a trap
              step 2: Spring an elobrate puzzle trap that Liz must work out to escape
              step 3: The final test will be a fight with somone wearing a suit of amour
              step 4: Up until now all the tests have been a farce the real final test will be me with a lamp
              step 5: Beat Liz to death with a lamp
               

Evil update

As per request Stefan you are a dick fuck you


Onto business


Evil plans


Plan 8: step 1: Wait for Connor to become a psychotherapist (hehe psycho the rapist)  
            step 2: get major face reconstruction surgery to look like a different person
            step 3: Pose as a crazy person near where Connor is working
            step 4: Keep refusing to talk to my psychotherapists until they give me Connor
            step 5: Tell Conner such horific stories about what i did until he can take no more
            step 6: reveal my true identity and beat Connor to death with a lamp

Another quick evil update

Evil things I did today

licked Stephen.B's mouse
then wiped it on his jumper

Plan 7: step 1: Get a friend to tell Connor I hate him via Blackberry
           step 2: Meet Connor in person
           step 3: Beat Connor to death with a lamp

Some Evil stuff

Evil Stuff I did today

Flicked Stephen in the head
Turned over Stephen's mouse
Insulted Stefan's ears

Evil joke
Due to the economic climate even Apple had to cut Jobs (curtsy of Stephen)

Quick evil update

Plan 5: Step 1: Follow Connor around eating all of his food
           Step 2: Evil laugh
           Step 3: Watch Connor die of starvation
           Step 4: Re-animate Connor using black magic
           Step 5: Beat newly Re-animated Connor to death with a lamp

Plan 6: Piss Conner off by spelling his name wrong

The Evil continues

Well Time for an update and after some discussion with a friend SMUDGE (UK) will also be referred to as SMUEGD (GER) this is for the large German fan base for this blog and now without further ado evil.
Evil things I did today

I saw a puppy and hated it

Did not mention the name of the friend with whom i discussed the SMUEGD idea

Thought evil thoughts.

Made anyone who reads this blog lose the game



Evil plan
 
Plan 4: Step 1: Clone a dinosaur

              Step 2: Train that dinosaur to kill my Nemeses

            Step 3: Give them one final chance for repentance

            Step 4: if they refuse beat them to death with a lamp

            Step 5 : if they agree beat them to death with a lamp anyway

The Evil Begins

So I decided I am so very evil that i need a new outlet for the evil rather than just generally hating puppies and laughing at old people when they fall over. So I decided that I would Post here tell evil things that I do maybe talk about evil plans.

 For starters I have an evil organisation the Super Mega Ultra Evil Group of Doom or SMUDGE as if you remove the of the first letters are an anagram of smudge. Admittedly there are only three members only one of whom (yes I use whom correctly) are active (me) so we are recruiting but my nemeses, (some people think it is nemesi but it isn’t) Liz and Connor don’t even have an evil organisation so I think I win. Anyway my plans.

 Plan 1: Step 1: Convince Liz our feud is over

            Step 2: Make her fall in love with me

            Step 3: A few years down the line propose

            Step 4: On our wedding day beat her to death with a lamp


Plan 2: Step 1: Make the girl Connor loves (Lizzie not Liz very confusing) fall in love with me

            Step 2: Convince Connor our feud is over

            Step 3: Marry the girl

            Step 4: Ask Connor to be my best man

            Step 5: On the wedding back out and make a plan with Connor to make Lizzie fall for Connor

            Step 6: Just as the plan is about to conclude beat Connor to death with a lamp


Plan 3: Step 1: Get Connor accused of a murder he did not commit

            Step 2: When Connor is being questioned pose as a special agent

            Step 3: Beat Connor to death with a lamp

 Okay any comments would be appreciated


Knave Gatekeeper (A Synonym of my real name the perfect cover)